What is the best way to eat an elephant?
One bite at a time.
Since the beginning of the month I have been writing down, scratching out, and staring at a list of class projects to submit to the store I regularly teach at. However, it has been really hard to pin myself down and honestly ask why I procrastinate with my project proposals.
What if the projects are not "good enough"?
This past week I started Tonya Davidson's Artful Success program. While it can be daunting to employ any new system of project organization, I instead find myself completely overwhelmed with gratitude. This comes with the realization of just how much emotion I subconsciously attach my projects. One thing Tonya suggested this week that resonated with me is, "Commit without emotional attachment". Does project exploration need emotion? Not really. The important thing is a successful project outcome. Being able to show a technique and seeing a student's face light up when they can do it themselves is a definite bonus. My friend has dubbed me the "Bag Lady" as I tend to bring everything with me to class. I realize this happens mentally also. I want to let go of the "worst case scenario" and "the ghosts of fumbled things past" baggage so I can conduct my classes calmly and with confidence.
Looking back at the things I've managed to accomplish, what has really blown my mind is all the wonderful people who have been so supportive with gifts of advice and opportunities. This encouragement has been keeping me aloft, even as I avoided believing that I could do what I truly want to do. That is, one day make art full time. I hope they will know how grateful I am and that I am ready to believe in myself. I am committed to a plan of action. As far as those class projects go, they will be tackled one bite at a time.